Probably Need a Rule

This school year has been a huge change over the previous year. Our school has only three rules, but really they are expectations of what each child should do. Everything was going well and it seemed like everything was falling into place until cafeteria duty. I noticed a student not feeling well. His color, his lack of appetite, and lack of energy were tell-tale signs of an obvious problem. He had already visited the school nurse, but with no fever present, the child was sent back to class. After lunch the sick child would be in my science class. At the end of the table a child was mixing his food into a soupy mixture of applesauce, mashed potatoes and chocolate milk. The thought crossed my mind to move the sick child near the gross concoction to encourage projectile......if the child threw up, he would remain in the clinic. Of course I would never subject a child to that and I ordered the "gourmet chef" to throw away his concoction.

A short time later I was in the middle of teaching when I noticed the sick child growing increasingly pale. "I think he's gonna hurl," the kid across from him hollared. I quickly grabbed the trashcan and placed it beside his desk.

"Boys and girls, I know we are trying to have only three rules this year," I said. I was quickly corrected, "Don't ya mean expectations?" "Okay, we have three expectations, but I think we need to have a new rule," I said. The same student interrupted, "Don't ya mean expectation?" I was growing impatient by the minute. "NO, I think this is definitely going to be a RULE!" I turned and gave my little interrupter the big eyes. My body language definitely said, "Don't even think about talking again for the rest of your life or until the end of class." "Boys and girls, if you are going to be sick..." Another student inserted, "Like your gonna hurl." And then it became a contest exploding around the room on how many ways and interpretations being "sick" could be named. (Vomit comet, blow chunks, upchuck, blow beads) I finally defined "sick" as any state of matter (solid, liquid, or gas) that had previously been in one's body and was rapidly on the way out of said body. "Boys and girls, if you are going to get sick, do NOT get sick on the carpet. It is the most difficult to clean. So, run for the door and hurl onto the grass. If I try to stop you from leaving the room, just go. Trust me, I'll figure it out real quick. And by all means, stay away from my desk." After 24 years of teaching, I have had multiple times my desk was the target of a sick child.

The new rule came just in time. It wasn't the sick kid I had identified in the cafeteria. It was the asthmatic. Let's just say the grass outside my portable took one for the team.